JJ and I have a habit of saying, "When this rough patch ends....."
We then end the sentence with goals and dreams we hope will happen. "When this rough patch ends, we are taking a couple of days, just you and me!" "When this rough patch ends, we are NEVER going to deal with __________(this struggle...fill in the blank) again." More often than not, the sentence ends with dreams of naps.
Come'on... we are the parents of small children!
Dreaming of naps is like a 24 oz. cup of espresso to us Mormon Mommys!
Sometimes, we spend our precious hours after the children's bedtime planning trips we never take, or life goals and dreams we pray will come to pass. Honestly, sometimes it truly helps find a glimmer of hope when we feel so overwhelmed and burdened.
As we all know, trials do end. However, when one ends, another may begin. Sometimes, it feels pretty continual; one right after another. This past week, that's how my migraines appeared...one right after another. It was a week where we were hanging onto a cliff by our teeth and a very frayed and ever disintegrating rope. The hits just kept coming!
Yet, in the very midst of this perfectly stormy week, some of the most bright and shining moments have occurred. Today, while suffering womanly curses that aggravate the homicidal tendencies within the female-kind, Andy and I spent a couple of calm, quiet hours cuddled on my bed watching Christmas movies.
And then there is my favorite moment of the week that I sincerely hope to cherish always and remember exactly how I felt in that moment: Storytime last night.
It was JJ's last "night" with us before his work week, so Andy wanted quadruple the stories during bedtime routine. Earlier in the day, I'd been annoyed with a few extra, homeless Christmas decoration/lights creating clutter in my kitchen, so I told Andy he could decorate his room with them. He put the lighted garland on his top bed frame. As JJ leaned back while Andy read, yes ANDY READ, Dr. Seuss's Marvin K. Mooney story, a peace settled on our family. The "twinkle lights" on the Christmas garland gave a nice glow in the room. Olivia crawled all over JJ, which is typical, but she was quiet, which isn't. Normally, I go get Livvie in bed. Last night, something seemed to pull me back into the room and onto the bed each time my better judgement told me not to keep the kids up too late.
So we stayed.
Moments like this happen right under our noses, daily.
And yet, what seems to make one night more significant or peaceful or magical than another?
I don't know.
But these in these rare moments, the rough patches, the migraines, the daily challenges of life fade away. That is the true magic of the moment. I believe in magic moments, I've written about many a magic moment. But, here's the truth: I LIVE for these quiet, powerful, and beautiful moments of magic when our little family seems quiet, at peace, and heavenly. Yes, in this magic moment, the thought came to my mind, "This is a little peak of heaven!" This is what the rough patches, the trials, the hellish days of parenting are for; my forever family. All of the overwhelming rough times are for these small moments where I can see our eternal future and feel an overwhelming peace that can only come from the temporal, material, and very mortal worries and concerns being lifted from my mind, JJ's mind, and we are simply the family that will remain for, what our family believes, eternities. And these little peaks into heaven are what I carry with me through the difficulties.